How do you solve a problem like Megson?
I wrote this as a comment on Manny Road’s post about him leaving the BWFC blogging scene because of his disilluionment with the clubs current management. Enjoy.
I agree with a lot of what you wrote here Chris. I’ve tried to support Megson as best I can, but I’m not fooling anyone anymore after that performance. The thing is, there are the foundations for something half-decent. For every two bad signings Megson has made, he’s made one decent one e.g. Zat Knight and Paul Robinson for Gretar Steinsson, Sean Davis and Gavin McCann for Lee Chung-Yung/whatever the house style is. This hit-and-miss style is identical to his selection policy. We have a solid team – when they are picked. After some poor performances, Megson dropped Knight this weekend. Great decision. But he then changes the midfield to a duo that never worked at the start of the season or throughout last season – Gavin McCann and Fabrice Muamba. The pair can’t shoot for toffee, and there’s more creativity in…well…I can’t even finish this metaphor they’re so terrible together. I don’t know any other manager who insists on playing two defensive midfielders at home against a team we should be drawing with at the very least.
And still Megson keeps the man, the myth, the legend that is Johan Elmander in the team. Now I want this to be as clear as I can possibly make this. Johan Elmander is the worst striker I have ever seen in a Bolton Wanderers shirt. But will he start our next match? Probably. He must be kissing some serious arse in the dressing room to keep getting in the team.
The thing that is most frustrating is that we have played well this season, and we have the players to play well. Against Tottenham and Everton this season, our attackers played with freedom and confidence, running at players and going past them. We have the players to play well and to attack effectively. Ideally, my perfect team would be: Jaaskelainen – Samuel, Cahill, O’Brien, Steinsson – Gardner, Muamba, M Davies, Chung-Yung – K Davies, Klasnic. Pace, power, aggression and creativity. I don’t see why this team can’t be picked, or why it couldn’t succeed. Oh wait, there’s one thing – How do you solve a problem like Megson?
The Elmander effect
Over the past month or so, I’ve got used to seeing Bolton play some decent football. Enjoyable football, so much so that it didn’t feel like a chore going to the Reebok. The watershed moment was the abysmal match against Stoke, where we were outplayed by Stoke. It’s worth re-reading the last bit of that sentence. Since then, at home against Spurs and Everton, the team look energetic, creative, and the players look like they’re enjoying playing for the club. The main difference for me has been the lack of Johan Elmander, who returned to the team yesterday against Chelsea.
Instead of playing with freedom of expression, Megson opted for a defensive line-up lacking in width to try and nullify Chelsea’s midfield. The problem with that is that you rely on your striker(s) to hold the ball up and when there are chances, to get the ball on target. Elmander did neither throughout the match, I’ve lost patience with the Swede, and I can’t defend him anymore. He’s worse than Bobby Zamora. Fact. To demonstrate this point, I’ll compare his 90 minutes to Ivan “2 kidneys” Klasnic’s cameo last week against Everton, thanks to Guardian Chalkboards.
Klasnic had three shots. All were on target and from different distances and places on the pitch. What more could you ask from your striker? Now, Elmander vs Chelsea from yesterday:
Elmander had three shots in 90 minutes. In better positions than Klasnic, and he still couldn’t manage to get them on target. I wouldn’t mind, but the two shots were within minutes of each other. This just isn’t good enough for a Premier League striker.
We didn’t lose 4-0 because of Elmander, we lost because the team was ultra defensive, which worked for 45 minutes until Samuel was sent off. We came out of our shell a little more in the second half, and Gardner running with the ball definitely made a difference. But we still insisted on playing long balls and crosses from just inside the half-way line, which were useless, as Elmander is truly abysmal in the air. Look at the number of successful crosses vs Everton (without Elmander):
And vs Chelsea (with Elmander):
True, this will be due to the fact Chelsea have a better defence than Everton. But Heitinga isn’t a pushover, and neither is Yobo. But look at the number of unsuccessful crosses vs Chelsea:
Elmander is so useless in the air, it defies logic as to why we tried to cross into the box almost one every five minutes. Look at the number of unsuccessful crosses vs Everton:
Against Everton, in total, we made 18 crosses, winning 39% of them. Against Chelsea in total, we made a total of 23 crosses, winning just 9% of them. Why, when Elmander is in the team, do we make more crosses into the box when we know how useless he is? I have no idea why we are more predisposed to hit crap crosses in the box when he plays, but we do. It doesn’t work, and he needs to go.
Inglourious Basterds reviews
CRASH! BANG! WALLOP! That’s not the intro you were expecting, and surp
risingly to me, it wasn’t the opening to Inglourious Basterds, either. Quentin Tarantino’s new film begins at no great pace, with slow langerous shots of the French countryside, and plenty of dialogue. There is a burst of violence, as there is throughout the film, but these do not have the same edge as in Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction.
Tarantino goes back to his earlier work to great success in Inglorious. The funky soundtrack, the way characters speak like no-one else does in reality, and Tarantino’s love of genre and love of films themselves. It is no coincidence that the film centres around a small, independent cinema.
When I first saw the trailer, I expected a Kill Bill Vol.1 remake, with Nazis. If you want to see that, you won’t be disappointed. There are some nice, gory, video nasty style prosthetics that will keep the Nazi-hating sadist inside you happy. But the bulk of the film is plot driven dialogue, which I wasn’t expecting. There is a lot of talking in this film, and a lot of it doesn’t develop character. The Basterds themselves are introduced to the audience sparingly – Tarantino has concentrated on plot with this film, and neglected to develop any characters apart from Shosanna Dreyfus, played well by Melanie Laurent. Aside from that, the characters are one-dimensional. From Tarantino’s high water-mark of Jackie Brown, character has taken a backseat.
Inglourious Basterds then is an attempt by Tarantino to get back what was most commercially successful – making everything really, really cool. And this is a cool film – but also a long film. A long film without reason. Characters aren’t developed, some characters come and go, and the story plods on at a slow pace without adding anything to the story. Your head will go with the film, but your bum will go numb. Go see it, but get comfy seats. Your bum will thank you.
As a side note, this is one of the first modern films I’ve seen which hasn’t (to my knowledge) been given the Kermode Seal of Approval (TM), so I’m off to listen to the new Mayo/Kermode podcast and have my opinion re-affirmed/corrected.
Bolton’s sluggish start to the season
Zat Knight, looking tall. From keightonknight.com
I don’t normally write things immediately after games, especially this early in the season, but I’ve felt a compulsion to write something after that dire performance against Sunderland. I felt excited going to the game, opening day of the season, I bhoped for another quick-fire start like last season against Stoke. But no. What was presented was utter crap, some of which I can explain, some of which is beyond me.
Let’s start with the debutants. First in the firing line is Zat Knight. If a club is signing a player to go into the first team, that player must be equal to or better than the player he is replacing. Zat Knight is not a better player than Andy O’Brien. Knight lost far too many headers to Kenwyn Jones, was dragged out of position by Kieran Richardson and Steed Malbranque, and twice in the game took free-kicks from around the half-way line. The guy is 6ft 6in. Why the fuck is the tallest player on the pitch chipping the ball into the box instead of getting on the end of it? Granted, it must have been Megson’s set piece plans being put into action, but I’ve never seen Peter Crouch take a free-kick in his career. How relieved must Anton Ferdinand have been feeling when he only had to look after Elmander and not Knight?
Next up, Paul Robinson. The same principle goes for him. Jlloyd Samuel did nothing wrong last season, yet finds himself being picked behind a player who is older, smaller, and slower than himself. The only logic that I can come up with is that he’s Megson’s mate from West Brom, because he certainly isn’t a better fullback than Jlloyd. If this is the case, then Robinson should not be picked again, it should be the best XI every game.
Now then, Sam Ricketts and Sean Davis. Well I don’t have anything in particular against these two, they did ok. But the same problem is there – I thought these two would be brought in to make up the numbers. I certainly didn’t think they would be first choice in front of Gretar Steinsson in Ricketts’ case or Mark Davies/Chris Basham/Joey O’Brien/even Tamir Cohen in Davis’ case.
And now we come to Mr. Megson. I can’t remember a team that has ever played at home with three defensive midfielders against a team of similar standing and quality. Why any team would ever need three defensive midfielders AND your average four defenders is beyond me. Sunderland had Lorik Cana and Lee Cattermole in front of their defence, and they did more work than our three midfielders did. It was a disjointed, lazy, lethargic, poor performance all round from the midfield. With Muamba, McCann and Davis, yes they are hard working and honest as Megson likes to promote us, but my nine-year old brother has more creativity than those three do. Lumping it up to Davies and feeding off the second balls isn’t going to cut it anymore, sorry fellas.
And finally, the master that is Johan Elmander. Are there any strikers in any of the leagues that don’t score for half the season and still get picked first choice? I know Dave Kitson didn’t do much last season, but I think he at least scored for Reading when he was on loan there. Is there any chance we can go for Tuncay, Megson? He was the best player on the pitch when they came to the Reebok late last season, I’d love to see him here.
Well played Sunderland, and as I mentioned before, Cana and Cattermole ran the midfield.
I really hope I don’t feel the need to post anything like this for the rest of the season, here’s to an exciting, rip-roaring rollercoaster over the next 37 games or so.
The Gudni, the Ba(d) and the…Warhurst
I recently finished my degree in Journalism, and so have been looking for jobs, so far unsuccessfully. But inbetween job hunting, I’ve been watching a few old BWFC DVDs (there’s a cracking end of season offer on at the club shop – 3 for £10). I’ve been going to the Reebok for eight (I think) seasons, and I’ve seen a lot of football, some of it brilliant, some of it not so. Here, IMO, is the top and bottom Bolton Wanderers 11 during that time. Feel free to disagree.
Guess which is the better side
David Lynch and me
About seven years ago, I slept at my dad’s house and we got a DVD out for the night. At the video shop, he chose Mulholland Drive, which I had never heard of, had no idea about the director and wasn’t really interested. We started watching the film, and it completely threw me. Nothing made sense, there was no likeable lead character, and it scared the crap out of me. The vision of the person behind the Winkies is still burned into my retinas. Here’s a video of it:
The film really troubled me, I just couldn’t get a grasp on it or understand what it was about. It’s now one of my favourite films. I bought it a couple of years later, just to see if I could make any more sense out of it. I still can’t now – but I love it. There’s something about the mystery, the darkness, the whole feel of the film, the edginess, the creepiness that makes it stand out. Angelo Badalamenti’s music is astounding, and Llorando by Rebekah del Rio makes me blubber like a middle-aged woman watching Titanic.
My dad always used to bang on about how good Twin Peaks and how good it was. I bought him the first box set as a birthday present a couple of years ago, and borrowed it as soon as I could. The series is so good, so so good. The music, again was what really kept me, with Badalamenti conducting one of, if not the finest TV themes ever written.
BOB scared the crap out of me as well, Lynch has such an eye for the horrific images. The next Lynch production I saw was Fire, Walk With Me. Again, Lynch’s prowess behind the camera again scared me half to death. The scene where BOB/Leland Palmer crawls through the window to rape Laura is truly horrific. Mark Kermode has said that the only film adaptation of a TV series that has been better than the original series is FWWM. I’m not sure about that, but the imagery will live with me forever, as will the TV series (which I’m about to resume watching in a minute).
The problem with Twitter
Swine flu has been the splash on most papers today and this weekend. Although Twitter can be used to spread information effectively, it also has a tendency to create hysteria where there shouldn’t be any. Swine flu is currently the top trend, and yet how many cases have there been in the UK and US? As of last night, 20. Out of 360m, 20 people contracted the virus, one of which was hospitalised. Yet everybody is talking and twittering about it, and for the moment, I think it’s needless and pointless.
Here’s a screengrab of Philip De Franco’s (American blogger) tweets.
Until swine flu reaches the UK, or there are more serious causes for concern, I don’t see the point of twittering about it. Getting swine flu to the top of the trends is like running into a cafe and shouting that there’s a small building fire down the road – not many people will care, and it won’t affect many people. But there will be people who will want to rubberneck. As PhillyD states, twitter spreads panic easily through the sheer amount of tweets a topic gets. I guess it’s a blessing and a curse. Twitter can disperse news faster than any other outlet, but as there is no context, meaning can be lost.
Paula Murray
I should be reading about ethics now or typing up notes for a future of journalism presentation, but I’m so incensed
Paula Murray
right now I can’t concentrate on it. I’ve just read the Paula Murray story she wrote for the Sunday Express in Scotland (text here, page PDFs here and here). Firstly, let’s start with the Dunblane Massacre. On the 13th March 1996, 43 year old Thomas Hamilton walked into a school in Dunblane, Scotland, with four guns and more than 700 cartridges. He shot sixteen children and one teacher, before killing himself at the scene.
Sunday Express headline: ANNIVERSARY SHAME OF DUNBLANE SURVIVORS
It makes me so angry to be classed as a journalist when crap like this makes the front page. It’s terrible journalism. Worst examples include:
“A number of the youngsters, now 18, have posted shocking blogs and photographs of themselves on the Internet, 13 years after being sheltered from public view in the aftermath of the atrocity.”
“His pictures include images of him gesturing with one finger, and posing in London as a “Scottish terrorist” with a scarf around his face. It is a far cry from the image of the smiling boy in the back row of …’s class.”
The worst: “On his page, … – who was shot twice and described as “extremely lucky” to survive – says he enjoys playing the guitar. He has posted pictures of his eighteenth birthday celebrations but makes no mention of the tragedy thirteen years ago.”
What the f*ck does that have to do with anything? So, they don’t want to publicly display their memories or experiences one of the most horrific moments of history over the past 50 years. Is that strange? Of course it isn’t. Funnily enough, these people want to try and move on, but are being chastised for it by a very, very poor journalist who brings shame to our profession. Who thought this was a good story?
This is terrible, terrible journalism and makes me feel so ashamed to be tarred with the same brush.
I found out about the story through Dave Gorman and through Bloggerheads, Tygerland and The Pickards.
What do you think of the story?
My collection
For some it’s shoes, others it’s stamps or books. For me, it’s DVDs. Here are the film’s I’ve bought over the past year but have yet to watch:
DVDs to be watched
They’re part of this collection:
More DVDs
There are more dotted around the family (my dad must have about 10 others) but I’m always looking to expand it. It’s costly. Makes me happy though. I used to want to see the IMDB top 250 films. I think I’ve seen about 100 of them up to now, but I generally try to watch whatever Dr K. likes. You should too.
Would you recommend anything? I’m off to watch Mulholland Drive 
Night x
Gary Megson’s six-week turnaround
Further to my previous post, I think we’ve made some real progress over the past month/six weeks.
Sat January 17 – Bolton 0 – 1 Manchester Utd
Megson brings on Seb Puygrenier for his first appearance with less than 10 minutes left, making three centre backs. Disaster as O’Brien and Puygrenier get mixed up – Berbatov scores. Megson hasn’t tried the three centre-backs trick since.
Wed January 28 – Blackburn 2 – 2 Bolton
We give away a two goal advantage. But a point away is still a point in a relegation scrap.
Sat January 31 – Bolton 3 – 2 Spurs
Bolton give away another two goal lead – but win. A big improvement from three days before. The win showed great spirit even though it looked like a repeat from three days earlier.
Sat February 7 – Everton 3 – 0 Bolton
Ahem. A blip. Well don’t you have bad days? (This is where my improvement timeline falls down a bit).
Sat February 21 – Bolton 2 – 1 West Ham
Another two-nil lead – but this time, we hold on. The crowd are behind the team, and we survive. Some good play and a relatively solid defensive performance.
Sun March 1 – Bolton 1 – 0 Newcastle
Megson switched the team around at half time, showing that his substitutions are improving (see Manchester Utd game above). And just to show the improvement – that was our first clean sheet since November 8 against Hull.
What do you think of the six week course then?
